Hey, perfectionists who also happen to be parents: I’m calling you out. Do you often question your abilities as a parent? Do you think you should be doing something better or different with your kids? Well, stop it. I’m here to tell you that it’s unlikely you’re ever going to be perfect at ANYTHING, especially parenting. Being a recovering perfectionist myself, I’m continuing to learn this lesson along with you. “Good enough” is the new “perfect” and I hope I can help you see this for yourself as well.
First of all, as a perfectionist by your nature, you always try your best – you don’t know any other way. Unfortunately, you frequently end up disappointed by your accomplishments or think you could have done more. This may be particularly true when it comes to parenting. However, if you are trying your hardest, no matter the outcome, it is good enough. Even if you don’t receive the appreciation you deserve or get criticized for your decisions, if you know in your heart that you are doing everything you can, that’s all that matters.
Secondly, even on your worst days (including the ones you want to run away screaming), you still love and care about your kids. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t do your best to keep them clothed, fed, sheltered, or educated. This alone should be proof that you are a good enough parent. Yes, you’ll make mistakes, but you’ll hopefully learn from them and teach your children the lessons you learn along the way. Being this kind of “good enough” parent will show your kids you are humble and willing to make things right rather than cling to an idea of perfection that is unattainable or always being right, no matter what.
If you are the parent of a strong-willed child or a teenager, you may question your parenting abilities constantly. You may even want to give up when it gets exceptionally difficult. I truly believe you were chosen specifically for this task and you are suited to parent this child. It may take a little more patience and support, but you can do it. No one else knows your kids better than you and you are exactly the person they need.
I’m sure my message has been clear, but if I haven’t hammered home the point yet: you are a good enough parent. It may take some time to believe it, but it’s true. If you find that you need support with parenting or are feeling discouraged, give me a call and I’ll be happy to help you find a “good enough” groove that will work for you and your family.