I often work with people who do not know how to do self-care or what it even is. The simplest definition of self-care is caring for yourself. I know… that’s a no-brainer. But if you ask individual people how they do their own self-care, you’ll get a ton of different answers. Some people won’t know what you’re talking about and you’ll probably get a long, thoughtful pause followed by an “I don’t know” with a shoulder shrug. Others will give you a variety of answers like runnin

Becoming a mom has been one of the hardest roles of my life - even more difficult than being a business owner, a wife, a friend, a sister, or a daughter. It takes all of my physical, mental, and emotional strength some days. Being a mom often robs me of the energy I want to have for other things. Don't get me wrong... most days are wonderful and a huge blessing. I can't believe how lucky I am to have a person as sweet as my little baby who is just beginning to learn how to sa

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably gotten to the point of being in “the comfort zone”. This is where you and your partner have fallen into a routine of whatever is easiest, quickest, and (let’s face it) boring. Many times, it looks like this: go to work, come home, have dinner, watch TV, go to bed, repeat. If you have kids, there are a few more steps, but usually the pattern is pretty similar. The comfort zone is nice at times. There are few expectati

In my last post, I talked about how relationships are like cars in that both need proper maintenance to keep in top shape. Today, I want to give you a handy tool that I think makes a huge difference in maintaining a good relationship. It’s no secret that I love Dr. John Gottman’s work. I reference his books and ideas quite often. This tool is one of his gems I find myself talking to couples about frequently. In his years of studying many different couples, he has found that t

Here we are in mid-February. As I write this post, it is currently snowing outside and 27°F. Colorado weather is pretty crazy. Just two days ago, it was beautiful, sunny, and I went (jacketless!) to the park with my seven-month-old so he could try out a swing for the first time (he loved it, by the way). Now, it’s cold, snowing, and overcast. Days like today make me long for the summertime with abundant sunshine, longer daylight hours, and overall happiness. I, like numerous

‘Tis the season for engagement Fa la la la la, la la la la! Boutonnieres and flower arrangements Fa la la la la, la la la la! Rented tuxes, bridesmaids dresses Fa la la, la la la, la la la! Time to discuss marital stresses Fa la la la la, la la la la! Alright, I’m in a silly mood today, thus my little song for you about premarital counseling. On a more serious note, did you know in a study about marital satisfaction, the couples who completed some sort of marriage preparation

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? If so, do you keep them? According to a study done in 2014 by the University of Scranton*, only about 8% of Americans were successful in accomplishing their resolutions last year. Many people resolve to do things better when the new year rolls around, but quickly abandon their ideas and fall into the same comfortable patterns they have created. Why do so many resolutions fail? There are multiple reasons, but a main one is that there is ofte

Let’s be honest. Many people dread the holidays because of their family. Everyone has at least one family member who drives you crazy when you spend more than 20 minutes together. And the holidays are usually the one time during the year where you have to spend an extended amount of time in close proximity. Now, I’m not here to tell you that you have to get along with everyone in your family – that’s probably unrealistic. However, you can enjoy your holiday celebrations in sp

For many parents, their relationship as a couple came before their children did. Therefore, it makes sense to nurture that initial connection both before and after adding more members to the family tree. Parenting can be a tricky endeavor, but mixing two peoples' beliefs, parenting styles, families of origin, family histories, individual struggles, and more can be a disastrous combination for family functioning if not done so carefully and with forethought. Dr. John Gottman (

To continue the trend of my blog posts recently, I figured I'd address something that comes up quite frequently with parents I've worked with in therapy. Many parents come into therapy sessions at the end of their rope. They are tired, frustrated, and don't know what to do after a full day's work, running errands, doing household chores, scraping together something for dinner, helping with homework, taking the kids to and from practices, etc. This list could go on forever. As